The Cruel Penguin's Thesis II
by JAy4
Summary: Same Penguin. Different story.


Disclaimers: I do not own Evangelion. Anno does. 

Author's Notes: It's not a continuation of the first one. Both of them are self-contained fan fictions. ( How can I even continue my first one anyways?) Enjoy.

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The Cruel Penguin's Thesis II

' Ah….This is nice.'

-Everyone has been gone for sometime now and Pen-Pen was left alone to relax in the tub. 

The warm water penguin drifted on the water as he looked up at the ceiling with a content smile.

' Ahhh......It sure is nice to have some privacy once in a while,' the penguin thought. His memory drifted back to the time when the First child moved to their apartment. 

~~~~~~~Flash Back Sequence ( v. 6.0 )~~~~~~~~~~~~

" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" the Third Child screamed in surprise.

" What is it Shinji?" Misato looked up to see the naked form of the Third Child just coming out of the bathroom.

The boy tried to compose himself but failed in vain. " Th..The..There is.....this...THING!!!"

-Just then, another figure walks out the bathroom with a towel in one hand. The mysterious figure walked up to a refrigerator then looked back at Shinji. The silence ensued as their eyes locked on each other for a second. Then with a snort the figure turned his gaze back to the refrigerator and walked inside.

" Oh you mean Pen-Pen. He is another one of your room mates," Misato explained while grabbing another can of beer.

" What? A penguin?" Shinji exclaimed.

" Yeah. He was an experiment that we've been working on. And when they were done, I volunteered to take care of him."

" A penguin......" Shinji repeated, trying to get familiar with the word.

" Yes. A penguin." Misato rolled her eyes. " And I would put on some towels if I were you," she added.

" What?" Shinji asked.

-Misato merely pointed at him and Shinji ran off into the bathroom when he finally noticed that he was naked.

" I should be more nicer to him," Misato thought out loud. " But he probably made up his mind about me already."

-While all this was happening, Pen-Pen sat back inside his crib and sipped on his can of beer as he listened to the conversation outside.

~~~~~~~End Flash Back Sequence ( v. 6.0 )~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Third Child.

-The penguin's mind wandered to the subject of Shinji. He could never figure out the boy. Just about the only thing he could say about the boy was......

' A really nice kid who needs some special help.'

-Just then, he heard the front door open. After a quick dive he got out of the water and grabbed a towel.

-As he dried himself off, he heard his human companions talking among themselves outside. Yes. He could definitely hear Asuka screaming at Shinji, the obnoxious barking, and Misato opening another can of beer.

-Ah yes. The all so lovable guardian who also got her warm water companion hooked on booze. The thing about her obsession with beer is that......

' Hold up.'

-The penguin froze.

' Did I just hear someone........barking?'

-Pen-Pen wobbled up to the bathroom door and opened it slightly. He carefully adjusted himself up against the door and took a peek through the crack. 

" Stop hogging her all to yourself, stupid!!!!!" 

" Well I can't help it!!! She keeps on clinging to my leg!!"

-The penguin blinked in confusion.

' She? Who is this SHE they are talking about?' 

-Pen-Pen let himself out the door to take a look at this "she" they kept implying. He wobbled across the kitchen floor and looked up at the two children. 

" Ow! That hurts!"

" Well, duh!!!!! She just bit you on the arm." 

' Who is biting his arm?' Pen-Pen wondered.

" Bark, bark!!!!!!" 

-Then something clicked on the smarter-than-the-average-penguin's mind. He wobbled closer to the couple and took in the view of the furry beast.

' A dog? They brought a dog? But….but what the HELL!!!' 

-To say that the penguin was upset would be an understatement. He was furious at the moment and he needed everyone to know that he was angry. So he did just about the only thing he could do at the spur of the moment.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-That got their attention. 

" Oh look! Pen-Pen is expressing his happiness at meeting his new animal companion!! That is so cute!!" said the currently not-so-sober-Captain Katsuragi.

' Uh........no.' The penguin slapped himself on the head.

-He then looked around for something....something that will indicate his anger towards the ugly thing they brought home.

-Then he spotted a knife on the sink. So he wobbled all the way to the sink and reached upwards for the knife. When he grasped something, he quickly pointed it towards the dog that was currently resting on Asuka's lap.

" Oh that is so cute!!!!!! Pen-Pen wants to give his friend a flower!" Misato exclaimed.

' A flower? What the hell?' 

-And there it was. What Pen-Pen was holding up was none other than a rose.

' But no that......she...the dog...no............no.........NO!!!!!'

" WAAAAARRRRRRRKK!!!!!!!" And with that, the frustrated penguin ran inside his room.

-Asuka and Shinji blinked in unison. 

" What's wrong with him?" Asuka pointed towards Pen pen's room.

" Oh, he is just embarrassed!! That is so…cute!!" And with that, Misato slid off of her chair and collapsed against the floor.

-The dog ran to her side and started to lick on her face while the children just stared at their drunken guardian.

" You know what? She is going to die because of alcohol someday," Shinji sighed.

" I couldn't have agreed with you even more," Asuka replied.

****************************************

Meanwhile, inside Pen pen's room……

-The once proud penguin resolved to cry his heart out. He tried to calm himself down by gulping down another can of Yebisu beer, but his tears wouldn't stop flowing.

' I'm getting replaced again,' the penguin thought.

-He had a reason to hate the dog. It wasn't that long ago that he faced rejection because of another dog and it took place during his days at the lab where he was born.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Flash Back Sequence ( v. 6.0 )~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Hello Pen-Pen," the doctor greeted his experiment inside the steel cage.

" Wark!" Pen-Pen greeted back happily.

-The lab was very untidy with stack of folders strewn everywhere. There were many cages here and there but they were all empty except for the one that the penguin occupied.

-The doctor nodded and went back to his work. Then one of his assistance barged through the door while carrying a large cage in his hands.

" Doctor Hajime!! Check out the new shipment!!"

" Well, what is it?" The doctor asked.

" It's a dog!!"

-It was then that the warm water penguin first heard of these vile creatures called……the dogs.

-And his life turned out to be more miserable by the day. The doctor never paid any attention to him and 

he was getting sick of being under appreciated. 

****************************************

-Then one day…..

" Hello Kyotsu," the doctor greeted the dog.

" Bark!!" Kyotsu greeted back happily.

-Then all of a sudden, a woman barges into the lab with a handgun held high in her hands.

" Okay, Kaji!! I caught you red handed with another…woman? Hmm, this must be the wrong place." The woman put her gun down and scratched the back of her head.

" W..Who are YOU?" The doctor stammered as he held his hands high in the air.

" Oh!! That is a cute looking penguin!! Can I keep him?" Misato asked as she pointed her finger at the dirty little cage with the penguin inside.

" Please! Take anything you want! Just let me live!" The doctor pleaded.

" Oh wow!! Thanks!! I'll make sure to take good care of him!!" 

-And since that day, Pen-Pen learned to take care of himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flash Back Sequence ( v.6.0 )~~~~~~~~~~~~~

' This is 2000 and 5 all over again,' Pen-Pen shook his head sadly. 

-The penguin sat back and looked up at the ceiling for a long time. What first started out as a promising day just had turned out to be one of his oldest nightmares.

-Then the penguin got up slowly.

' I'm hungry.'

-He wandered into the kitchen and looked for Shinji. It seemed that the whole family was done eating and Shinji was left alone to wash all the dishes. When he got close to him, he pecked at his leg.

" Ow!! Oh, hey Pen-Pen. " 

-The boy recognized the routine that had been going on for sometime between the penguin and himself. One peck meant that he was hungry, two pecks meant that he was thirsty, and three pecks meant that he needed his beer. And this time, he was hungry.

-So Shinji opened up the fridge to find something to suit the penguin. When he was done rummaging through the fridge, he looked back at Pen-Pen with a guilty look.

" Oh, I'm sorry Pen-Pen but it seems like we're out of curry or sardine."

-The penguin looked at the floor dejectedly.

" Oh wait. But we have a lot of this dog food we bought. How about that?" 

' He can't be serious,' the penguin thought as he looked up at Shinji.

  
" Just give it a try and see if you like it," then with that, Shinji poured some dog food on Pen-Pen's dish and sat it on front of him.

-Pen-Pen stared at his dish for a long time. He can't possibly believe what was happening. He couldn't believe that even Shinji could be that dense. But when he finally held a grasp of what was happening, he kicked his dish across the kitchen floor. The dog food scattered all over the place and Pen-Pen ran back inside his room.

" I wonder what is wrong with him?" Shinji pondered as he started to clean the dog food up.

" Oh that is simple. He just didn't want to eat his friend's food. That is all."

" Wow. How do you know so much about Pen-Pen, Misato?"

" Well, you learn to pick up a few things on the way when you take care of a pet."

" Maybe he just doesn't like the dog or the dog food," Asuka yelled from the living room.

" Yeah like how can he dislike Yumi?" Misato said as she held the dog like a mother would for her baby.

****************************************

Meanwhile, back in Pen-Pen's room…..

' It's hopeless. They've already forgotten about me.'

-Pen-Pen was eating some of the sardines that he had hidden inside his room. Even though he had something to eat, he was depressed more than ever.

-He sighed and turned on his small television that was installed inside his room. 

" Do you feel that you are under appreciated?"

-At the sudden question, the penguin nodded his head involuntarily.

" Do you feel as if you had been replaced?"

-Pen-Pen nodded his head violently as he gave his full attention to the television set.

" Then come down to the divorce court and settle your differences!!"

-Pen-Pen blinked a few times and fell backwards.

' Hold up. What am I so depressed about?' Pen-Pen got up with a new found determination. 

' I don't need to feel depressed just because of a stupid dog,' Pen-Pen thought.

He opened a can of beer and gulped it down fiercely. ' No. I'm not giving up that easily because it will be different this time. And this time, I'm not the one who's going to leave!!!!!'

" WAARRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!" the penguin cried as he held the empty beer can high in the air and crush it against his forehead.

" What was that noise?" Asuka asked.

" I don't know, but it better stop. Its scaring my lil Yumi," said Misato.

To be continued......

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Jay's Authors Notes: Did yah HATE it? Did yah LUV it?!? TELL me! REview!

At this time I'd like to thank Arucard the Rogue Vampire for pre-reading.......heck he practicly wrote the whole dam thing.

Hey LOOKIE a QUOTE!

"If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly."

-ANON.


End file.
